Open Hours

Free guide · 03

Build a family calendar assistant

Forward a confirmation email, tell it whose calendar it belongs on, review the event it proposes, and approve it, without retyping the date, time, location, or details.

No code. Careful setup. Start with one calendar and one fictional event.

At a glance

What you are signing up for

Level

No code, but a real multi-step setup: a new account, calendar sharing, connection approvals, and a written rulebook.

Time

Planning, 15 to 20 minutes. First working event, roughly 45 to 90 minutes. Refinement, another session as your rules settle.

After setup

Usually under a minute per email: forward, review the proposed event, approve.

You need

A free Google account, plus Claude (recommended, free plan works) or ChatGPT where its Google connections are available. The assistant gets email read access and calendar read and write access on the account you choose.

Before you connect anything

Read this first

This setup gives an AI access to selected email and calendar data. The dedicated account you will create is a boundary: it does not give the assistant general access to your main inbox, but it can still read every message you forward and the details in every calendar you deliberately share.

  • The connected assistant can read messages in the connected inbox.
  • It can see the details of calendars shared with that account: titles, times, locations, descriptions, and guests, at the sharing level you grant.
  • Calendar write access allows creating events, and can also allow updating and deleting them.
  • The provider asks for your approval before taking external actions; the rulebook below makes that explicit too.
  • A dedicated account limits what data is exposed. It does not shrink what the connection can technically do inside that account.
  • You can revoke access at any time, from the provider's settings and from your Google account's security page.
  • Work, school, health, and financial information deserve extra care. When in doubt, leave it out.

Pick your route

Choose the provider

Everything in this guide is shared except the connection and rulebook steps, which follow your pick. Provider instructions checked August 25, 2026: Claude against Anthropic's connectors article; for ChatGPT, menu names and availability shift often enough that you should confirm on OpenAI's connectors page before you begin.

Part 1

Map what you already have

This is the step everyone skips, and it decides whether the whole thing works. Your calendar system probably lives in your head. Ours did. An assistant can't follow rules that exist nowhere on paper. Ten minutes, four questions:

  1. How many schedules are you managing? Yours, a partner's, each kid's, the shared family one, the sitter's hours. Count them.
  2. Where do dates live right now? Google Calendar, Apple Calendar, a school portal, the paper calendar on the fridge that is somehow still the source of truth. List every one.
  3. Who sees which calendars, and how? Whatever the assistant creates has to reach the same people your current system reaches.
  4. What are your unwritten rules? How events are named, where no-school days go, what shows as busy or free, which activities go on which calendar. Every rule in your head, written out once.

The worksheet · copy it into your notes app and answer there

My calendar inventory (kept in my own notes, not on any website):

1. Schedules I am managing (count and list):
2. Apps, portals, and paper that hold our dates:
3. Who sees which calendars, and how:
4. Our rules: how events are named, where all-day things go, what shows as busy or free, which calendar gets what:

If "unwritten rules" feels abstract, write the handoff document you would give a very literal new assistant taking over your calendar on day one: what your words mean, look before adding, confirm before big moves, who gets invited to what, and how things are named. Steal those categories, not our rules.

Rather answer questions than face a blank page? Let the AI interview you. One privacy habit first: use initials or roles instead of real names while drafting. Add specific names later only if you deliberately want them stored in the provider's project instructions.

I am about to hand my family calendar over to an AI assistant, the way I would hand it to a new admin. Interview me, one question at a time: which calendars I have, what I call things, how events should be named, who gets invited to what, what should show as busy or free, and any rules I am keeping in my head. Use initials or roles for people, not full names. Then turn my answers into a written set of calendar rules I can save and reuse.

Writing it down pays twice. The assistant follows your rules exactly as well as you state them, and a calendar system that lives in one parent's head is a single point of failure even before any AI is involved.

Part 2

Choose the boundary

Before you connect anything, decide which account the assistant lives in. This is the decision that sets how much it can ever see.

Option A: a dedicated account (recommended)

Create a new Gmail account that exists only for this workflow. You share chosen calendars to it and forward it only the emails you want processed. The assistant gets a small room instead of the house: easier to inspect, and if you ever want out, you stop sharing the calendars and abandon the account. Nothing about your main digital life has to be untangled.

Be clear about what the boundary does and does not do. It keeps your main inbox out of reach. It does not hide the contents of what you share: every calendar you share is visible at the permission level you grant, and every email you forward is readable in full.

Your real account

  • Your inbox: not connected, no access
  • Your calendars: live here, shared across the fence on purpose
  • Work calendar and everything else: nothing crosses

The dedicated account

  • The same shared calendars: read and write, not a copy
  • A small inbox holding only what you send it
  • The assistant connects here, and only here

In words: the only two ways in are the calendars you share and the emails you forward. The calendar arrow is a door, not a copy; the assistant reads and writes the same calendars you look at, which is the point.

Option B: your main account

Faster, no forwarding habit, and the assistant can process emails already sitting in your real inbox. The trade: the connection has read access to that inbox and whatever calendar access you grant, within what the connector permits. Choose this only if you understand and accept that broader access.

Option C: start even smaller, one new calendar

The lowest-exposure first step, and it composes with either option above: create one new calendar called something like Family Logistics, used only for AI-created events, and share only that at first. Your existing calendars stay untouched until the system has earned more. Add them later if you want conflict checks across the family's real schedules.

Part 3

Set up and secure the new account

About five minutes at accounts.google.com: create a personal account, name it something like Family AI, and pick an address like YourLastNameFamilyAI@gmail.com. Then treat it like a real account, because it is one:

  • A unique password, saved in your password manager, not written on paper and not reused from anywhere else.
  • A recovery email, so the account can be rescued.
  • Two-step verification or a passkey, switched on.
  • No shared logins between family members. If someone else needs to see a calendar, share the calendar to them; don't hand out the password.

Done when: the dedicated account has a unique saved password, a recovery method, and two-step verification.

Part 4

Share one calendar first

Not all of them. One. Pick the lowest-risk calendar you have, or the fresh Family Logistics calendar from Option C, prove the whole loop on it, and only then add more. In your main Google account:

  1. Open calendar.google.com, hover the calendar's name in the left sidebar, and open the three-dot menu, then Settings and sharing.
  2. Under the sharing section, choose Add people and enter the dedicated address.
  3. Pick the permission level on purpose. Google's options run from seeing only free or busy, to seeing event details, to making changes, to making changes and managing sharing. This workflow needs a make changes level so the assistant can create events. Know what that includes: a connection with write access can also update or delete events on that calendar. Don't grant manage-sharing rights; nothing here needs them. (Exact label wording shifts; checked August 25, 2026 against Google's sharing page.)
  4. Send the invitation.

Real talk · the thing that broke for us

Sharing a calendar is not the same as that account accepting the share. Our first attempt came back empty: everything looked connected, and the assistant couldn't see a single event, because the invitations were sitting unopened in an inbox nobody had ever logged into. Google confirms it: the recipient has to open the invitation email and click its link before the calendar appears. Log into the dedicated account, open each invitation, accept. Five-minute fix, mildly humbling, and now you get to skip it.

Done when: you are logged into the dedicated account and the shared calendar shows up in its calendar list.

Part 5

Connect the assistant

Connect Claude

On claude.ai, in a browser where you are signed into Google as the dedicated account:

  1. Open Customize, then Connectors. (This moved; older guides say Settings. Checked August 25, 2026 against Anthropic's article.)
  2. Connect Gmail: sign in as the dedicated account and review what Google says you are granting.
  3. Back in Connectors, connect Google Calendar with the same account.

Google Workspace connectors are available on every Claude plan, including free; on Team and Enterprise accounts an admin has to enable them first.

Connect ChatGPT

On chatgpt.com, in a browser where you are signed into Google as the dedicated account:

  1. Open your profile menu, then Settings, and look for the Google connections. The label drifts: it may appear as Connectors, Apps, or Connected apps. If you can't find it, OpenAI's page has the current path, and availability varies by plan, workspace, and region.
  2. Connect Gmail: sign in as the dedicated account and review what Google says you are granting.
  3. Connect Google Calendar with the same account.

Connected Google to ChatGPT long ago? Disconnect and reconnect. Calendar writing arrived with newer permissions, and an old connection may not have them. Reviewed August 25, 2026; confirm current availability on OpenAI's page before you start.

Approve permissions on purpose

Google's approval screen is blunt: view your email messages, see and edit your calendars, and for some connectors, send email. Approve each one knowing what it is for. Reading mail is how forwarded messages get processed. Editing calendars is how events get created, and the same access can update or delete events. Send permissions, where they appear, should only ever act with your explicit approval; the rulebook in Part 6 says so in writing. All of it applies to the account you signed in with, which is the boundary from Part 2 doing its job.

Then check the connection from the outside. The chat is a functional test, not an audit: ask "What calendars can you see? List them without changing anything." The authoritative record of what is connected lives in the provider's connector settings and in the dedicated account's Google security page at myaccount.google.com, under Security, third-party apps and connections. That is also where you revoke access, alongside the provider's own disconnect button.

One phone note: the connection belongs to your account, but the phone app doesn't always have those tools switched on in a given conversation. Check the tools menu in a new chat before relying on it from a pickup line.

Done when: Gmail and Google Calendar show as connected, and the functional test lists exactly the calendars you shared, no more.

Part 6

Give it the rulebook

Claude keeps reusable context in a Project. On claude.ai, open Projects, create one called Family Calendar, and use Set project instructions. Projects are available on every plan, free included. (Checked August 25, 2026 against Anthropic's projects article.)

ChatGPT keeps reusable context in a project with its own instructions box. Create a project called Family Calendar and open its instructions. If it offers project-only memory when you create it, take it; that fences the family context off from your other chats, the boundary idea one level up.

Paste your rules from Part 1 plus the operating rules below, then fill in the brackets. This is a rulebook, not a wish: instructions in the project apply to every conversation in it.

The project instructions · fill in the brackets with your own

This is my family calendar setup. You are connected to a dedicated email account created just for this. The calendars shared to it: [list each calendar and whose it is]. Our time zone: [time zone].

Naming rules: [paste yours. Example shape: no-school days as all-day events at the top of the day. Each person has a shorthand. Joint activities named like ___.] All-day things like picture day or early dismissal are all-day events, not timed ones.

When I provide an email, flyer, text, or PDF:

1. Extract proposed calendar events.
2. Tell me which details came directly from the source and which you inferred.
3. Identify anything unclear or missing. Do not guess missing dates or times; write "not provided" and ask.
4. Check the destination calendar for likely duplicates before proposing.
5. Show me each proposed event: title, date, time, time zone, location, description, and destination calendar.
6. Do not create, change, delete, invite, or notify anyone until I approve that specific action.
7. Create events with no guests by default. Never add guests or send invitations unless I explicitly name them and approve.
8. If the destination calendar is unclear, stop and ask.
9. Handle large sources in small batches, and never bulk-edit or bulk-delete without a separate, explicit instruction.

A word about memory: the system improves because you maintain its rulebook, not because every correction is automatically remembered. When a correction reveals a reusable rule ("swim class always goes on the shared calendar"), add it to the project instructions. That is the maintenance habit that makes this hold up.

Done when: the project exists and the instructions are saved in the project's instructions field, not just said in a chat.

Part 7

Test with a fictional event

Don't start with a real school email. Prove the loop with something disposable first:

Please propose this as a calendar event and wait for my approval:
Open Hours calendar test
Tomorrow at 4:00 PM, ends at 4:30 PM
Location: Home
Calendar: [your one shared calendar]
No guests
Description: Delete after testing

  1. Ask it to propose the event, and read the proposal.
  2. Confirm the time zone and destination calendar are right.
  3. Confirm there are no guests.
  4. Approve creation.
  5. Open Google Calendar yourself and check every field.
  6. Delete the test event by hand, in Google Calendar. Good practice for staying in charge.

Done when: the fictional event appeared on the intended calendar with the correct date, time, time zone, and title, and no guests.

Part 8

Process one real email

Now, one real message, chosen to be low-risk: a class signup, a camp confirmation, an activity schedule. Before you forward or paste it, take out what the assistant doesn't need:

  • Full names where a shorthand works.
  • Student IDs and account numbers.
  • Health or disability information.
  • Private addresses beyond what the event needs.
  • Payment details.
  • Long quoted threads underneath, carrying unrelated mail.

Keep the first real run to one proposed event, and compare the proposal against the original before you approve:

  • Date matches the original.
  • Start and end times match.
  • Time zone is right.
  • Location matches.
  • Destination calendar is the one you meant.
  • No duplicate already sits on that calendar.
  • No guest or invitation was added.
  • Anything missing from the source is marked missing, not guessed.

Done when: one real event is on the calendar and every line above checked out.

Once it is running

The daily shapes

The system is the same loop every time: forward or paste, review the proposal, approve. A few shapes it takes in real weeks:

  • The forwarded confirmation. A camp signup lands, you forward it, name the calendar, review, approve. The ten-second version this was all for.
  • The fridge flyer. Photograph it instead of transcribing it. "What needs to go on the calendar?" It reads the photo and proposes.
  • The week check. "What's on the family calendar this week?" while making lunches. Good at catching two activities that collide before Thursday does.
  • Working from the calendar. Once it can see the calendar, it can plan from it: list next month's birthday parties, flag which invites said no gifts, suggest options in budget. Review before buying anything, same as ever.

Part 9

Big sources, small batches

The school-year PDF is the job that used to eat an evening per kid, and it is also where assistants stumble: ours once stalled halfway through a bulk load. The fix is not "keep going." The fix is batches:

  1. Upload the source and ask for a complete proposed list, with nothing created yet.
  2. Review the list and correct it in the chat.
  3. Ask it to check the list against the calendar for duplicates.
  4. Split the list into batches of five to ten.
  5. Approve one batch.
  6. Open Google Calendar and verify that batch landed correctly.
  7. Approve the next batch only after the last one checked out.
  8. If a batch fails partway, stop. Check Google Calendar directly for what was really created, reconcile, and only then continue. Don't trust the chat's own summary of what it did; trust the calendar.

When you need them

Adaptations

None of these belong in your first session. They are here for when the core loop already works.

Keep Apple Calendar as the screen you look at

The assistant needs Google underneath, because Google is what it connects to. But Google can be the plumbing while Apple stays the view: build everything in this guide on Google, then add the Google account to your iPhone (Settings, Apps, Calendar, Add Account, Google) and turn its calendars on. They sync both ways. One honest caveat: sync can lag a few minutes, so a just-added event may take a moment to appear.

Adapt this to Outlook or another setup

The system is the point, not the brands. If your family runs on Outlook or another AI, ask your AI to translate this guide for your tools and flag anything your setup can't do. Then verify the important claims (what can connect, what can write) against your tools' official documentation before you rely on the adaptation. Not every AI can connect to every calendar.

Bring in old calendar history

Don't retype anything. Every calendar app exports a .ics file (Apple Calendar on a Mac: File, Export; most apps keep it in settings), and Google Calendar imports it under Settings, Import and export. Two notes: imports can create duplicates if some events arrived another way, and you may not need history at all. If the old calendar only matters going forward, starting clean is less work than migrating.

Add more calendars

Once the one-calendar loop is boring, repeat Part 4 per calendar: share deliberately, pick the permission level on purpose, accept the invitation from the dedicated account, and update the rulebook so the assistant knows what each calendar is for.

Automate the forwarding

Only after you have manually processed several messages successfully. Gmail filters in your main account can forward matching mail (a school's address, a camp's domain) to the dedicated inbox automatically. Keep filters narrow, test them on real mail, and review them now and then: a broad filter forwards things you didn't mean to share, and if you never open those emails yourself, the assistant's read is the only read. Forwarding by hand is not a failure state; one of us does it on purpose, to stay the gate.

Load the whole school year

This is exactly the Part 9 batch process. Budget a quiet evening the first time, and let the batches be small.

Part 10

When something doesn't work

Something will. Ours broke twice during setup and still came together in two evenings. Describing the problem to the assistant in plain language is a genuinely useful first move, but it is not the referee: an AI can misdescribe its own access and actions. The authoritative evidence is the provider's connector settings, the Google security page, and the calendar itself.

The assistant can't see any events

Likely cause: the calendar invitations were never accepted. Check: log into the dedicated account's inbox and look for the invitation emails. Fix: open each one and click its link. Verify: "What calendars can you see? List them without changing anything."

Shared, accepted, and still not visible

Likely cause: sharing takes a few minutes to propagate. Check: the calendar appears in the dedicated account's own calendar list. Fix: wait five minutes. Verify: rerun the functional test.

The wrong Google account got connected

Likely cause: the browser was signed into your main account during the OAuth screen. Check: the provider's connector settings show which Google account is attached; so does the Google security page. Fix: disconnect, sign into the dedicated account in that browser, reconnect. Verify: the functional test lists only the calendars you shared.

It can read the calendar but not write to it

Likely cause: the share was granted at a see-details level, not a make-changes level. Check: the calendar's sharing settings in your main account. Fix: raise the permission to a make-changes level. Verify: rerun the fictional test from Part 7.

An old connection refuses calendar work

Likely cause: the connection predates the permissions the workflow needs. Check: when the Google connection was granted, on the Google security page. Fix: disconnect and reconnect, reading the new approval screen. Verify: the fictional test.

Works on the computer, not on the phone

Likely cause: the phone app's per-conversation tools toggle. Check: the tools menu in a new chat in the app. Fix: switch the Google tools on. Verify: "What calendars can you see?" from the phone.

Can't find the connectors menu at all

Likely cause: labels move. Check: Claude keeps them under Customize, then Connectors (checked August 25, 2026); ChatGPT's may sit under Apps or Connected apps, and availability varies by plan and region. Fix: follow the provider's current documentation, linked in Part 5. Verify: the connection appears in the provider's settings.

The event landed on the wrong calendar

Likely cause: your rules don't say where that kind of event goes. Check: the proposal step; it should have named the destination. Fix: say so plainly and have it move the event, then add the rule to the project instructions so it holds. Verify: the event sits on the right calendar in Google Calendar itself.

A duplicate appeared

Likely cause: the same event arrived by two routes, or the duplicate check was skipped. Check: both entries in Google Calendar. Fix: delete one yourself, and keep rule 4 (check for duplicates before proposing) in the rulebook. Verify: one entry remains.

A bulk load stopped halfway

Likely cause: too many events in one instruction. Check: Google Calendar directly, to see what was really created; don't rely on the chat's summary. Fix: reconcile, then continue in batches of five to ten per Part 9. Verify: each batch in the calendar before the next.

A work or school account blocks the connection

Likely cause: managed workspaces require an admin to enable connectors. Check: whether the account is a personal one or an organization's. Fix: use a personal account for household logistics, or ask the admin. Verify: the connector option appears.

The feature isn't available on your plan or region

Likely cause: availability varies, especially for ChatGPT's Google connections. Check: the provider's current documentation, linked in Part 5. Fix: use the provider where it is available to you; the guide's loop is identical. Verify: the connection completes and the functional test passes.

You are done

You now have a system, not a trick

It becomes more reliable when you turn recurring corrections into explicit project rules and keep reviewing the details that matter. The first week is the worst it will ever be. Before you call it finished:

  • I understand what the account boundary does and doesn't protect.
  • One calendar is connected, at a permission level I chose on purpose.
  • I inspected the connection in the provider's settings and Google's security page.
  • The rulebook is saved in the project's instructions, not just said in chat.
  • A fictional event was created, verified, and deleted by hand.
  • One redacted real email became one verified event.
  • I know where to revoke access if I ever want out.

This is guide 3 of 3. If you landed here first, Getting started with AI and Setting global instructions are the shorter on-ramps. New guides land on the Join us page first.

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